Updated: Oct 4, 2020
Over my healing journey, I learned that an important aspect of my well-being is the energy I keep around. I learned over time that my inner circle truly lifted me up or brought me down. I have a horrible history of friendships, mostly due to opening myself to the wrong people (still struggle with that sometimes). In this time, I have learned a few key gems that has turned my relationship with others into a fruitful and fulfilling experience.
Just like in dating, compatibility in friendships are everything.
Often, we ask the burning questions to someone who we have a love interest with, yet we don’t have this same evaluation when it comes to friendships, or even family members that we should consider the closest. Especially in young ages, we often become friends with someone through school, a hobby, work, a bar, or some relative thing that you always did together. True compatible friends are ones that if that one thing was removed, you would still be able to interact and hang out. You have respect for each other’s morals and values, or compatible lifestyles and methods of communication. Think about your friend group and examine if maybe that one annoying friend is annoying because the compatibility was based on activities, and not within.
"True compatible friends are ones that if that one thing was removed, you would still be able to interact and hang out."
People will show you who they are. You cannot change this, but you have a CHOICE on how to respond and interact.
This is a tough lesson. Tough. Why don’t we just choose another friend, or partner, instead of trying to change the one we have? Have you been in that situation? You are so bothered by the things they do, and instead of finding someone who does it, you want to change them. First, it’s not because you love them because if you love them, you would accept exactly who they are and celebrate what they can do. So, this means you love the idea of them. Something about them leaves you attached to this person, without appreciating the package as a whole. So, the point is, people will show you exactly who they are. The tools they have. The abilities they possess. You cannot change this. But, know that you have the power to choose how to interact with this person! Know that if you choose to make them a close friend, you cannot complain everyday about their flaws because you accepted this entire package. You signed up for all of this. Imagine buying a cable package from a company that only has 62 channels. You KNOW that you purchased this packet, yet you call the company daily co